This week has been interesting to say the least...

It was the first official week of getting up early, reading the Bible...etc. I did alright, but certainly not as well as I could.

It was a week in which I came face to face with one of my biggest struggles. Ironically, many people have said this to me in so many different ways, but I just didn't hear them because of the depth and weight of this sin. It came about as I was meeting with a group of friends from church for a weekly "gathering." Inexplicably, I was the object of many hearty laughs and jokes which was not a big deal, in fact, more often than not, I enjoy being the center of attention. But something bothered me deeply when the jokes became what I took as personal...

After some reflection, talks with God, talks with mentors I came to a startling conclusion... my struggle is Pride/Arrogance. Ouch.

I confess that I give my opinion too soon so as to "stand up for myself."
I talk about things I know very little about to get a rise out of people.
I speak using my emotions as a catalyst if I don't get what I want.
I say things are backed up with God when they really aren't.
I "take control" of situations to seem wise.
I do not let myself be vulnerable because it gives off the impression that I'm weak.
I care more of what people think of me than I lead them to believe.

The reason this is so huge is because it is impossible to be a great leader (something I'm naturally geared for, praise God) without humility. Leadership is not being the "boss," leadership is being open for criticism, vulnerable to faults, an example, a facilitator, and primarily, a messed up person that God wants to show others his glory through (i start to think, have I ever read the bible?). This is a rather large responsibility that shouldn't be taken lightly and that's why I'm glad God revealed these truths but I'm pained in my soul at how this has affected my relationships and life.

This may not seem overly incredible, but for me to identify this is HUGE!

So, my call to action... In response, my first baby step is to limit expressing my opinion. I am going to test the extreme of NOT giving my opinion unless asked so as to reveal to me the value of my words. 1 week, that's the challenge. To be aware of my words, thoughts, and how they affect others. This.is.starting.NOW.